


Static

by CHROMIUM_lll



Category: Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Hallucinations, How Do I Tag, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Varian (Disney), Inspired by Real Events, Intrusive Thoughts, Panic Attacks, Varian Has Issues (Disney), psychotic episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-02-23 08:11:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23008417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CHROMIUM_lll/pseuds/CHROMIUM_lll
Summary: Varian was sure he was done with these feelings, these episodes of helplessness and hatred that seemed to strike him in the dead of night, when there was no one to comfort him.I'm over it,he tells himself, over and over.I'm over it,but the sickness in his body and brain could say otherwise. He was never an overly emotional kid, no, he'd rather solve things with logic and reasoning, but emotions are only human and human, he was.[based off of a journal entry I wrote some time ago about a psychotic epiosde I had involving some unwanted lingering emotions and intrusive thoughts- this drabble is very personal to me, so please handle it with care!Set around the beginning of season 3, maybe a month or so after his redemption.]
Comments: 6
Kudos: 87





	Static

The static was deafening. White noise and a foggy haze surrounded him, voices and colors and feelings he was hoping to have been long rid of bubbling to the surface. Anger, agony, resentment, _I'll make you proud of me, dad._

Varian was sure he was done with these feelings, these episodes of helplessness and hatred that seemed to strike him in the dead of night, when there was no one to comfort him. _I'm over it,_ he tells himself, over and over. _I'm over it,_ but the sickness in his body and brain could say otherwise. He was never an overly emotional kid, no, he'd rather solve things with logic and reasoning, but emotions are only human and human, he was.

Most days he could drown it out, the whispers in his head and the trembling in his fingers. Most days it was easy to smile and pretend like he didn't notice the chorus of violent thoughts rolling into his mind, thoughts that did not feel as if they were his own, thoughts that told him that Rapunzel was the enemy, _Corona_ was his enemy.

Rapunzel, the embodiment of the sun, kind and caring and oh so naive. _She_ was deserving of the pain? She alone was responsible for Varian's agony? He knew that wasn't true, but somehow, somewhere, his brain decided to lie to him.

Most days, he could ignore it. Today, however, the static grew. 

"You hate them," It whispered, the white noise of his head morphing into a barking, taunting voice "You hate them all."

"You want them dead, torn apart, make them feel what you felt. You want them to hurt." it hissed, demanding and oh so sure in its declaration. Varian wanted to cry.

"No," he whispered, curling in on himself further "No, I don't."

The static laughed, bitter and amused, and Varian pulled his blanket further around his body, tucking his head between his arms.

"No? Don't lie to me, child, you've always felt this way." It said, and Varian could practically hear it's grin, feel its taunting gaze, burning into him as if he were nothing and knew nothing.

"Not anymore." He replied, and for a moment, the static did not reply.

"Not anymore?" the voice is cold now, in contrast to it's previous taunting nature, and Varian decided he did not prefer the latter. It laughs again, bitter this time, and Varian squeezes his eyes shut.

"Don't lie to yourself, child. You want to tear them apart, you want to destroy them, hurt them, dispose of them. You're restless and resentful, boy, you want them to suffer. You always have."

"But I don't feel like that anymore," He cries, and it sounds more like a plead, a desperate attempt at grounding himself within the fear of losing to his own mind "I don't feel like that anymore!"

The static grows now, howling and yelling in his ear, and for a moment he thinks the voice has grown tired of him, grown sick of his backtalk. But then, without warning, it all stops, the static dissipating and in its wake, the voice replies;

_"Don't you?"_

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and I'm sorry there's so much dialogue! I hope you enjoyed! :D Feedback is welcome and appreciated!


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